I haven't read everything, but your husband and the Marine 'family' you were once a part of, all sound like a bunch of cliquish ***holes..which sounds about right for my experience. I was in the Marines, myself, and any misstep would make a person an outsider. I am so glad to have left that fake family behind and the high school ignorance that came with it. I have found peace in my current friends who are like real family and in realizing I no longer wanted to fit in, I no longer want to feel a need for others approval. I want to be so fiercely confident in my own skin that I become comfortable standing above them, instead of shrinking myself to attain their approval. I hope you reach that same conclusion eventually.